Is Anything Too Marvelous For The Lord?

I had just finished my lunch upstairs in the lounge. I really dont like leaving work during lunch to eat out. Why? Well, to get anywhere you have 10 minutes, which means 10 to get back. Now you are at 40, so that leaves a few to order and then maybe 20-30 to eat while looking at your watch to make sure you dont get back late. Throw in the fact that you cant really get into the talk and comfort b/c you know you have to get back to work. You also cant have a beer or mixed drink. I'd prefer to take a light lunch or microwavable panini instead. I prep, eat, and finish in less than 15 minutes.

Well, I just finished the panini and headed outside to the stone benches outside my building. Its a nice little padio to the entrance of the building. I sat there looking at my messages. I see a txt from my friend Blo and decide to give her a call. Blo is her nickname by the way......I chopped off the rest of her last name. No, it implies nothing more......pervs! : )

So I give her a ring and we get to talking. I'm surprised she answered her phone. She had txt'd me earlier and told me that she thought that "I should marry her." Anyhow, we're talking..... and then the call goes dead. I have T-Mobile and its rare, for me, to drop a call like that. I called back and automatically got her voicemail. I figured that she went into a tunnel. Then again her phone does suck.

I give it a second go and sure enough, I get her voice........ So I stop and look up to see traffic come and go. I see customers coming into the building for the various companies that are in the building. The majority are for Citi downstairs. I suddenly see my buddy K drive by on his riding lawnmower. K is an interesting guy-married, Catholic, mid 60's, very funny, playful...... He's one of the building maintenance people. I'll always remember him for saying to us in the elevator .....

Hey guys, did you know I've been married for 30 yrs and my wife still likes me!

Anyhow, he drove by and put up a finger as if he wanted me to wait for something. I was a bit confused, but I'd stay. A few minutes later he came by ......

"I want to tell you something," he says. "I know I've told you a lot about the problems I'm having with belief and faith and stuff."

I sat there just smiling at him and nodding my head. A couple of months ago, he was talking to me about a book he had read and that it caused him to lose faith in the Church.

"My wife and I went to..........." he goes on.

He basically told me that he went to a small church with his wife. The priest there wasn't politically correct..........he mentioned that Hell was for real and that Purgatory wasn't a picnic. He further pontificated how we will all answer to God for our sins and misdoings.

I was sitting and listening to the sermon he had heard on Sunday. The sermon made him realize how life should be taken seriously. He went on to tell me that as he was praying the Our Father, he opened his eyes to see himself literally off the ground. He couldn't explain it.

I was a bit taken back but I wouldn't doubt him. I dont doubt things that come through the spiritual! Maybe he was .................. I dont know, but I'm holding him to truth on this one.

"When you pray, you are in a different world. I truely believe that. And I thought I would just like to share that with you," he said as he finished. He was serious; he wasn't playing around.

He smiled and left to go back to his work. I smiled back and waved.

I made my way back into the building and to the elevator. I got back to my work, and it hit me. There was a reason for the ever so rare dropped call! Had the call not dropped, I would have still been talking to Blo on the phone. If I still had been on the phone, K would have never waved me down. Had he not waved me down, he never would have shared his experience with me. Had I not heard his experience, I wouldn't have pondered it and my faith wouldn't have grown that small grain. I believe that anytime someone experiences something positive when prayer or God is involved, it reaffirms, strengthens, solidifies, and reiterates our own in the smallest of ways.

I was glad to have heard him talk to me. Lately, I haven't gone to Mass like I should. I've missed three or four in the past month or so. I've been down. I've been indifferent.........the reality has settled in. I keep hearing that life is what you make of it, no one else can. Of course, but I was hoping God could help out. It goes back to L and college. It bugs me at times, and I lose hope. Now I know........its sad knowing that I've come to care less about going to Mass. Ouch! Never thought I'd say that!

I thought of Adoration. I've thought lately of not going anymore come new year. The presence takes me back to St Jo's in Bryan and how I begged................. I'm nuts! I just dont want to be reminded of what bugs me.......what haunts me............what burdens me! I'll go to Mass tomorrow morning. But I'm looking forward to this year being over! Too many deaths in the family, bad news, deviated sacrum (which I did nothing to throw it out other than lying in a soft ass bed for a whole day), my dog will be gone soon, coming to know of L's beautiful life, its all been tough. Dont get me wrong, I'm "happy" that she's happy now or so she seems. I'd never wish her distress or harm.

Then the fact of the situation, its timing......takes me back to another rare instance......

Back in June, I was haunted one Saturday morning..........I woke up early. She was on my mind. This waking up early was a common thing for weeks after me finding out her marriage, yada yada. So I got dressed and went to Mass that Saturday morning. I was in a gaze.........cold, indifferent, out of it. I seemed fine to anyone, but I was out of it. I hear the reading read by one of our parishoners..........it was about Abraham and Sarah.

By this time next year, she will be with child. Is anything too marvelous for the Lord?

I laugh at this statement. Sarah laughed when she heard the stranger (the Father) say that she would bare a child.............she was old and was impossible, so she thought. Sure enough she did bare the child as foretold. I, however, laugh b/c of the last statement......Is anything too marvelous for the Lord? Of course not, duh! I laugh now as I write this.

Of all the masses I attended, I rarely go to a Saturday 7AM one. I can count them on one hand! I cant help but wonder how I happened to hear this Mass much like how I dropped my call from Blo. Both were rare...........but both got me thinking. I was obviously meant to hear both. Both while rare, needed to happen for me to listen to something. Will I have a child by this time next year? No! Taken into context, what was to happen was not so much the child, but the fact that something was to happen that someone thought impossible! There is nothing impossible for God....I know this! I still laught, but.........

I wonder.

Lubbock

Its been a long two days!



Early Morning

I travelled to the upper panhandle of Texas to meet up with my boss. All of us did....from the northern part of Texas to the west and from Central Texas.......we decended upon our Administrative See........ In fact, my boss's boss was coming in.........my what fun!



A Little Later

I cant complain. I enjoyed my trip up there....only two hours away, but first I had to travel a bit West to pick up a coworker.......she's a quirky one. I love her to death though. Before heading north, we decided to stop and have a hearty breakfast! I love breakfast even though it'll throw off every other meal left in the day...........



Noon

So up we went through those lovely plains.... I think they're plains. Anyhow, as we got to Lubbock we noticed the heavy construction.........I had to call E to get directions. After a while, we got there. Dont get me wrong.......I've been to Lubbock but never from the western portion. I was a bit thrown off, and it was already getting late as far as being there on time to start the conference. Anyhow, we got the directions, and we got there just fine!





I wasnt dressed for the occassion... blue/black rusted Levi jeans with a black tshirt. Everyone else was hyped up quite nicely...... I wasn't going to be with the public so who gives a shit. Upon entering the conference room....... there was only one person there, my boss. It's always nice seeing her: a great smile, attractive disposition, a wonderful personality, and an embracing hug. This day was no exception! After some chit chat, I found out that the rest of the crew had gone down the street to eat Italian, I think, and she was left to set out the cake and sweets. It had been my birthday earlier in the week, and she, as always, was gracious enough to celebrate it with a nice chocolate fudge cake! Another coworker had a b-day, but I thought it proper to go ahead and take the only cherry that straddled the sugary flouer mixture! I'm an ass! What can I say?



I settled into my assigned chair, one of many that were aligned around four tables that formed an equidistant square. There were no inferiors or superiors here. All are equal in my boss's eyes even though we all think the world of her. Some say this to kiss ass..... I dont. I wont work for some asshole or bitch. I'm selective as who I'd go work for, for I have no wife or kids to have to force myself into grave situations.



Anyhow, I got to meet some folks who work in our group that I had never seen but only had heard in voice via telephonic conferences. It was nice to meet them, and nicer to be able to put a face to the voice. N, a once despised female coworker turned allie, made me truffles! This couldn't get better, or could it?



Mid Afternoon

We sat there going through the various materials that were before us. Things ranging from problems we wanted to see addressed to the latest cut ups that our finest minds could muster. These people are fun! Anyhow, there were no ass chewings...... it was all good. My boss had to get her boss at the airport. Cheddars @ 6PM. Hit it! First, we'll have to go by the motel and get our crap situated......we were running late remember?



After Work-4:45PM

I drove J and myself to our suite. No, we did not share one! I loved the place we stayed at. I love 12 foot ceilings as opposed to the conventional eight. High vaulted ceilings, taupe color, granite countertops, fridge, two desks, couch....... this place was my kinda place. Nothing spared here! I tossed my bag on the couch and began to unzip it.......



"Hello?" I said.



"Its me! I'm lost!" D said. She was the other b-day person. The fact that she was lost didnt surprise me. Hell, the drive from work to the suites involved only one right-hand turn.



"Where are you?"



"I'm at the corner of 19th and University."



"Then we're right there......."



"I cant see. Are you next to a gas station?" D has a bad habit of interrupting you while you speak.



"No!"



"Uh, are you next......."



"Listen, we are at the corner of University and 19th, right across from Texas Tech...."



After a few minutes of tag, she finally found her place. I continued to unpack as I had been before I was so rudely interrupted ; )



5:30PM

I make my way into the dining area of the hotel. Their happy hour was lousy: Bud Light, Coors Light, and one other beer worth forgetting. It wasn't doing it for me! No mixed drinks, no Michelob, no Killians..........nada! So I decided to leave to Cheddars a bit early. I was a bit glad b/c the bosses were arriving for the lousy happy hour....



15 Minutes Later

We walk into Cheddars. It was semi-full, and we noticed another co-worker who was already there waiting on a table. It was for a big crowd, about 15 of us. I was told to get a table before I left the suites by my boss. She was gonna stay behind to have a few drinks with the leads and her boss at the nasty HH at my suites. I figure that the coworker had that covered as she told me, so I decided to headed to my immediate left...


"Ladies, I'm gonna go have a drink." I said to them



I headed to the bar area....only a couple of tables full. I sat at the bar and ordered my Mojito. This bartender actually went the whole way to crush the mint.......I'm impressed! I sipped that baby as if it were gold..........it was great! Not bad for 5 bucks. I sat there with a view to a couple of flat screen TV's and an open view of the entrance. I saw a few people come in, some good looking and some not, some old and some young. After another Mojito I see my lead come to my left. I must have been sending a text from my phone to my cousin to tell her that I wouldn't be able to see her. I had to study soon after I left the restaurant.



"What are you doing?" he asks holding his palms open.



"I'm just about to pay my bill...." I said.



I started to shuffle for my credit card as he headed to the bathroom. I was trying to get the bartenders attention. She was cute too! After a few minutes, E is coming back from his excretory exercise.



"I'm going......... I just gotta get her to get my check"



He began to ask about another coworker and what was going on. Sometimes, coworkers dont want to hang around with their bosses afterwork........... paranoia does that to ya.



"I really dont know what her deal is, " I tried to explain. "She just doesn't want to hang........"



"She's not really a bad person......." E goes on to say. He's a good guy with a good heart. He did a good job of assessing what was going on..... As a superior, he knows more of the story than I do. Of course, he wouldn't tell me anything than I already know....as he shouldn't.



6:20PM

I'm walking back with my Mojito with E to the back of the restaurant. It was my second Mojito and as I walked further I noticed how much more sunlight was present in the far end of the dining room as opposed to the dark bar. There were two tables: one with all the bosses and execs and the other smaller one with the ladies. I opted, by choice and also by no other seats being with the execs, to sit with the ladies. Cheddars bolted the tables down so no get-togethers. Good idea....my eyes weren't exactly firm. So there I was about to order my third Mojito talking to the ladies about Europe, farmhands, coworkers, position transfers, food, bread............. The ladies were nice; they're truely sweet!



7:30PM

The execs get up and head on out. I sit there alone as the ladies had left b/c I was waiting for J to get back from the restroom. I was her ride for the trip. It was my job to look out after her. Finally she gets back, and we head on out.



15 Minutes Later

We get back to the suites. R and my boss's boss head up to the dining area.



"We cant let good beer go to waste!" BB says



"Nope, especially after you've had the good stuff first." I said with a smile



So we sat down, just us three. Drinking a brew and talking about houses, real estate, Fed decisions, world markets and much needed advice to me about biting the bullet and getting the house I need. Need? That is a bit too strong.......should get. There ya go.



9PM

"Damn, what time is it" someone said, I forget : )



We get up from our chairs and head out the room. Unexpectedly they both said good night to me. I was a bit taken back. Here were some very uppity up guys who had the decency to think of me as far as saying 'good night.' I was taken back and thought myself blessed to have been there. You know as I do, the smallest of considerations go a long way.





2 Minutes Later

I'm in my highy vaulted room with all the bells and whistles you could ask for. It was time to study! Charitable contributions, active/pass loss activity, phasing itemized deductions and exemptions....... it was long winded. So I decided to keep it short and simple. From out of the blue, I get a ring on my phone. It was Blo......... she had left me a txt message saying:



I'll call you later. I'm talking to Josh right now. Night!

She never called........

3AM, the next morning

I woke to the running water in the toilet. I guess the rubber stopper wasn't sitting well in the tank. It would run ever other minute or so......... It was really pissing me off; moreover, I felt a bug in my stomach. I was thinking that it was maybe the mojitos, or the potato soup, or the shitty beer that I hand drank just a few hours before. I laid there in bed. It sucked. I tried the bathroom thing.......nothing worked. I got up to drink water......nothing. So finally I made myself puke! Sorry .............

5AM

I was up on and off the past couple of hours. Nothing was working......I knew that if I could sleep it off, then I'd wake up fine.....my experience tells me this. However, I cant fall asleep b/c of the damn toilet tank. I need my sleep for tomorrow's big meeting, the ride back home, and my test for later that evening. It was going to be a long ass day!

6:30AM

I had stayed up b/c of all the crap that was happening. So I cracked open the ol' book and decided to study. I noticed after a while that it was time to get ready. I noticed something was missing.........my toothbrush! So I call the front and sure enough they have complimentaries. On my way out, I noticed my leads sitting and having breakfast. Damn these guys get up early!

8AM

The meeting starts, and we are going back and forth. It was interesting.......... I said something and everyone laughed! I cant remember but I felt good!

12:30PM

Meeting is over and boss is leaving to drop of her boss. We all say our good byes, but we are hungry. We can get together to eat......I start thinking. If I accept then we get on the road later and that takes away from valuable study/rest time. If I stay, well.............we eat once more together. So I decide to stay and eat with my leads and my boss. A BBQ place is chosen to meet at. I get there first and it sucked. Its much like the unventilated place in my town...very small. I cant have people in my space. This place was way too packed and the benches were way narrow. Fuck this! I leave and pull J with. I call E and we randevous or however you spell it at another joing. This new place was nice. My boss was the first to show up. She sat over on the other side next to J. We talked about ............. I just remember how she was so radiant, so kind. I'm gonna miss her when she moves on in a couple of years!

2PM

After my wrap, we hug each other and head on out. I stop to get gas, and we leave Lubbock. Half way through our trip, I'm falling asleep. J of course is talking, but I cannot stay awake. I'm so tired........... I pull over to get two deep fried burritos and a coke. This meal is so unlike me............ but it tastes damn good. It keeps me up. My text my boss and thank her for the cake. She txts me back saying that it was good to see us and how she wished my luck on my test. I love her to death. Have I said that before?

4:30PM

I get back and drop her off. I'm tired and head to school. I dont need to take this class but I want it to do other things possibly. This particular class will tell me a lot about what I want or not want to do. I'm so uncertain about my future................I just dont know. I'm uncertain about many things........my future, family, money, flying, my dog............. Shit! So there I am on the 3rd floor sitting at a table viewing the nice scenery before me. The sun was up. I spent the next few hours studying............ I remember looking up and its dark. I'll never wait to the last minute again!

8:30PM

Class starts and time for the test. It's kinda tricky but its fine.

9:45PM

I'm the only one to get up thus far and turn in my test. The room is still full of test takers. Wait, I was the second guy to get up. Sorry. I make my way out the class and down the stairs. I drive home..........exhausted. No doubt that I missed a few due to shear tiredness from drinking, driving, non-sleep, yada yada yada. Hey, all things are meant to be..........right?