For weeks, pundits and sports analysts have reported the whereabouts of the top draft picks for the 2007 NFL season. Highly touted QB's, illusive RB's, and highly demanded (as the draft has shown from the first 10 picks) DB's were the talk in the past few weeks. Commericials, interviews, headlines--they all were predicting the Draft order by knowing which draftee was talking to what team, what team need who, and which players were the best among the teams picking early in the draft. JaMarcus Russell would go to Oakland Raiders, Calvin Johnson to ...I forget... and Brady Quinn would go to the Cleveland Browns. In that order, mind you. Being an avid Notre Dame fan, [yes Aggs, I do support Notre Dame but only 2nd to you] I could really give a shit about the first two guys or anyone else as far as that goes.
So it came to form...everything happened as predicted except for the 3rd pick. Quinn was supposed to be drafted by the Browns. Afterall, it was widely known that he grew up supporting that team, and interview after interview Quinn expressed delight and desire to go with the Browns, his hometown team. During the draft, I know of no picture most displayed by the network than the picture of Quinn at age four wearing a Browns uniform and helmet; this was going to be his dream come true! Moreover, Browns staff loved Quinn at the NFL Combine, and they had nothing but exalting things to say about the Notre Dame QB when watching him on tape. The only negative thing you heard about him in the past weeks was the fact that the talent around him at Notre Dame wasn't up to par with his own performance. Out of the top three picks, Quinn was the most predictable pick by order and by team. Slam dunk! Right? I mean come on, he's supposed to go with the Browns,,,,,,,,right?
The 3rd pick by Cleveland went to pick up an offensive tackle, Joe Thomas!
I dont know about Brady, but I was fucking shocked as Hell! I couldn't imagine what he felt. Dejection? Suffocation? Despair? Loss of confidence about what he had been told by that Browns staff! What the hell happened? What the fuck? Everything pointed toward Quinn being picked up by the Browns,,,,what...how....why...? Someone please explain!?!?
Then came the 4th pick, the 5th, the 6th.......finally 9th came by way of the Miami Dolphins. They were in a quarterback dilemna, so why not Quinn? Hell, even Matt Lienart went around this time last year after this steep a drop off. Well, Miami went with another guy. So 10th then 11th, and no call to the stage. Keep in mind that each pick is 15 minutes apart! Was this excruciating or what?
Picture and screenshot after screenshot was focused on Quinn as the picks went on and on. Forget the Browns, when was some team gonna draft this Heisman candidate QB who studied under a 3-time Super Bowl winning offensive genius in Charle Weis? What in God's mysterious world was going on here? Hell, he only broke about 20 Notre Dame records in his 4 years there. Whats going on?
Finally the 20th came and went with the 21st next to come. The 22nd pick was going to be a Dallas pick. As those minutes went by until Dallas had to announce their pick, a loud cheer sounded from the crowd. Turns out the Cleveland Browns GM had struck a deal with Jerry Jones! Cleveland would pick again in the 1st round in place of the Cowboys! The aura and emotion of the crowd and broadcasters was like never seen before in the preceeding 5 hours of the draft. Draftees were announced 20 times already, but nothing stirred the atmosphere as the news that was expected. Sure enough, Cleveland struck a deal to get the 22nd pick and named Quinn was their man!
What the Hell is my point on all this? It really has nothing to do with football at all.
The point is that there is a time when our desires and wants are given to us. Even when everything points in our direction, it doesn't mean it will be fulfilled in OUR time. And when OUR time is unfulfilled, our faith is tested. What are you made of? What is your faith and how strong is it? Are you going to buckle b/c you dont get what you want and turn your back on yourself, the close ones around you, and possibly God? After all, when we want something so bad we bring God into the picture! Right? Call me a liar! I dare you.
Do we turn our back on God? This is what this post is geared to! I have seen and experienced some traumatic shit in my lifetime. I just happen to see a story played before my eyes that wasnt totally aware of. In a way, seeing all this play out this weekend was awe-insipring for me. This weekend has lifted my hopes and breathed new confidence in me.
A lot of times, this "timeliness" can separate a creature from his creator. Quite frankly, I personally think that this has seperated a great many people from their God in the ages that have past. Think about it, maybe God delays our gift/desire in order to test our faith. Maybe he wants to see how we will react toward him as those he has tested before in this manner, i.e. Abraham with Isaac, Sarah with her 1st son, Moses and the rock, King David with all those famines, even Christ himself in the desert. I mean none of these people, except for maybe Christ, knew how things would come out. They didn't know that in the end everything would pan out for them just fine. They just saw the dilemna in front of them, and they were to deal with it. Faith was tested as with fire. Dont be surprised to find this past statement in Scripture ; - )
Was Quinn tested? Hell I dont know. He got his wish/desire/gift in the end. However, he had to wait for it. This is my other point. He didn't know that he was going to get his gift. In the end he did! Again, he waited 5 long hours without knowing the what, where, why, what the Hell of his situation. God's time is not our time! God's ways are not our ways--just look up the laborers when those who showed up at the end of the day to work were paid the same as those who labored all day long. The ones who had been there all day bitched to the master! Can you blame them? Why does our Lord work this way? I do not know! I wish I knew. I wish I knew why he chooses the long and seemingly complicated route full of misery and frustration.
As the story played on, one of the broadcasters had a look of awe on his face as he said that "this was truely a story book ending." No one else had gotten so much hype as Quinn. No one else had a story so known as Quinn's. Everyone knew over the past weeks that no one was so perfectly aligned than Quinn for the Browns. It had to be! It was meant to be and more. According to the GM of the Browns, the cost to get Quinn at pick 23 was much greater than it would have to get him at pick 3 because of the deal made between them and the Cowboy owner Jerry Jones. The Browns had to pull major strings and pay a heavier cost to get back in the 1st round to grab Quinn before another team got him. In fact, the mere fact that Quinn went as late as he did and in the fashion by which the Browns got him only built up the drama, suspense, and the glory of it all. No other player got so much attention than Quinn on this draft day, not even Jamarcus Russell, the number 1 pick by Oakland. Story book ending? If you watched all that had happened in the past weeks and on draft day......yes you would have thought so no matter which guy you were rooting for.
Timing---God is a miracle worker with this little phenomenon! Man only has to thankful that He's not an employee who has to clock in every morning,,,,,,,,,just kidding. Could it be that a lineman was to lead the way and in a sort of way, prepare, for the quarterback that was to come? Afterall, Quinn was rushed like crazy this past year b/c of problems with his offensive line. Was it to Quinn's long term advantage to have a prized lineman go before him to make sure that his playing ability was fully realized? Prepare the way......wow.....I believe that I read that somewhere.
I've said that before on this blog. I've come to see how he manipulates time to his, and mostly our, advantage for he forsees what we humans cannot. And even though his timing may cause us shock, distress, anxiety, hopelessness, despair, frustration, and at times rebellion, his timing will work to our greater benefit and happiness. It seems that His ways tend to have a more symbolic, a more awe-inspiring impact and consequence than would our best guess would give to the situation at hand. How much sweeter is our story whether it be Quinn's or our's that our scenario plays out with such a dramatic effect. What does it add to the story to know the hero wins in the end despite what he had to go through to get there? How much sweeter is that?
Would it have been as sweet to go 3rd? Hardly! How other way would a loving Father provide for his children than to give the best for them by the best means. This is God's story book...let the author show his talents as he pleases. Easy to say? Sure it is, but hang in there baby! The rest will take care, or shall I say, will be taken care of on His time. Night!!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Signs or My Imagination
Last year, I took a plane ride in a late evening. I'm struck with a sense of urgency that makes me look up. I got this feeling that something was about to happen or that I was to be at attention. Hell, I had been messing with my seatbelt. There I see a family. An eerie chill overcomes me. The lady is shining and charismatic. However, he's unsettled, intense and broad. I have an even stronger feeling that he has a daughter that takes after him. The girl with them could easily be a close cousin or even a sister.
Why? Why do I get this sudden feeling that I know their daughter? Why did the feeling overcome me? I could barely see, yet they were only a few rows in front of me. The boy was a pain in the ass as it seemed. As I see later, the man is firey. She's understanding and accepting. There is something special about that family. I noticed that there is something in the way the girl carried herself that seemed remarkably uncanny. Later, the lady smiles at me; she noticed me. Nothing bad or immoral, but a simple gesture of kindness. She's magnetic and extremely loyal to him--always waiting for him. Something tells me we'll see each other again. Next time, I'll be more than a stranger. I look forward to seeing the lady again. Quite frankly, I wouldn't know her if I saw her again. My gut would tell me as it did the first time around. When you least expect it, it happens!
A birthday sticks out in front of my eyes........why was it that particular date? The person I see soon after is a widower. Everything looked fine: money, marriage, then she's dead. Is it a sign?
Walking to the mailbox, I think how on Earth can things be pulled together from our current situation. I think death.....I slip on mud and almost fall on my ass. Am I being told something?
Earlier before my slip, I arrive back home early on Sunday to make an evening Mass b/c I overslept that morning. Father speaks how a widow was married three times. Why of all Sundays did I miss Mass in the morning to make it back on a Sunday afternoon which is almost never done. Was I supposed to hear this?
My prayers to Kristos and Mater Dei not answered......why? He prefers obviously for me to keep those memories in my heart, why? Would it not be better to forget and pretend it was my crazy mind as opposed thinking about and putting myself in a position/in temptation of breaking commandments? Why?
She sat waiting there. Everything about her from the back rang bells. Her skin, hair, shoulders, the way she carried herself. I wanted to see her, yet I didnt at the same time. Her turn was up, and man she was in there with no hesitation. She was serious yet graceful in her little way. She was able to muster a smile. She was innocent yet not stupid. A parable has come to mind again, a sheep among wolves. Gentle as a dove but shrewd as a viper. Her smile brought back memories; her calmness and class was consoling. What a freaking sign! Soooooooo similar to my past. It hurt yet felt so good.
"God works in mysterious ways, " she says. It gets me thinking; maybe, I am at fault for all this delay. Is it a lost cause, or am I being delayed. Delay is so in my face that its not even funny. I couldn't count the number of ways.
Delayed...D tells me back in December that her man "has to take care of his issues before..." he gets with her. This explains the delay. Was I supposed to hear this and take heed?
I'm confused, and so are the ones reading this blog. I'm not taking a Sacrament head on, but I cant help but feel that not all is said and done.
Brother tells me that "everything is already written down; you cant change that." Wow I'm both scared and excited!
Why? Why do I get this sudden feeling that I know their daughter? Why did the feeling overcome me? I could barely see, yet they were only a few rows in front of me. The boy was a pain in the ass as it seemed. As I see later, the man is firey. She's understanding and accepting. There is something special about that family. I noticed that there is something in the way the girl carried herself that seemed remarkably uncanny. Later, the lady smiles at me; she noticed me. Nothing bad or immoral, but a simple gesture of kindness. She's magnetic and extremely loyal to him--always waiting for him. Something tells me we'll see each other again. Next time, I'll be more than a stranger. I look forward to seeing the lady again. Quite frankly, I wouldn't know her if I saw her again. My gut would tell me as it did the first time around. When you least expect it, it happens!
A birthday sticks out in front of my eyes........why was it that particular date? The person I see soon after is a widower. Everything looked fine: money, marriage, then she's dead. Is it a sign?
Walking to the mailbox, I think how on Earth can things be pulled together from our current situation. I think death.....I slip on mud and almost fall on my ass. Am I being told something?
Earlier before my slip, I arrive back home early on Sunday to make an evening Mass b/c I overslept that morning. Father speaks how a widow was married three times. Why of all Sundays did I miss Mass in the morning to make it back on a Sunday afternoon which is almost never done. Was I supposed to hear this?
My prayers to Kristos and Mater Dei not answered......why? He prefers obviously for me to keep those memories in my heart, why? Would it not be better to forget and pretend it was my crazy mind as opposed thinking about and putting myself in a position/in temptation of breaking commandments? Why?
She sat waiting there. Everything about her from the back rang bells. Her skin, hair, shoulders, the way she carried herself. I wanted to see her, yet I didnt at the same time. Her turn was up, and man she was in there with no hesitation. She was serious yet graceful in her little way. She was able to muster a smile. She was innocent yet not stupid. A parable has come to mind again, a sheep among wolves. Gentle as a dove but shrewd as a viper. Her smile brought back memories; her calmness and class was consoling. What a freaking sign! Soooooooo similar to my past. It hurt yet felt so good.
"God works in mysterious ways, " she says. It gets me thinking; maybe, I am at fault for all this delay. Is it a lost cause, or am I being delayed. Delay is so in my face that its not even funny. I couldn't count the number of ways.
Delayed...D tells me back in December that her man "has to take care of his issues before..." he gets with her. This explains the delay. Was I supposed to hear this and take heed?
I'm confused, and so are the ones reading this blog. I'm not taking a Sacrament head on, but I cant help but feel that not all is said and done.
Brother tells me that "everything is already written down; you cant change that." Wow I'm both scared and excited!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Lucky, I think not!!
Luck. You hear it all the time. "Oh you got lucky!" I was told this when I first got my current job. Many had applied including an older, yet sorer lady. She had applied for my job and didnt get what she wanted. I GOT what she wanted! Was I lucky?
Jeff Gordon won the Phoenix race this past weekend. Granted, he had a great car and the skill, but it was his last minute "lucky" pit stop right as the caution waved to put him in position to take the checkered flag. Lucky?
I was due to turn in a book report on a Friday in my sophomore year in high school. Straight A student, football player, respectful and courteous kid to all my teachers.....I was a good kid. Turns out this time around I was ill preped. Not half way through my assigned book and my report was due tomorrow! Shit!!
As it turned out, a huge snow storm hits the location in which we were to travel. Game cancelled! Now I can skim the rest of that overdue fucker so I can get my report written up. Lucky to have such an odd thing happen in West Texas during the fall?
Last exam day in College Station, a not-so-easy FINC semester final was about to be given, and I had that bitch by the tail. I was confident, or was I cocky, anyhow, I didnt study for the exam. I sat in class knowing how I was gonna ace the exam b/c I had aced the previous two exams in there. Suddenly as cocksure as I was, I began to hear questions and problems others were going over. You know about the talk that goes on before a test, dont be coy! One, then two, then wait.....I'm a bit rusty. I had busted my ass for this class, and I knew that I was going to go out with a B at most, if not a C. No fucking way! All this way and that shitty grade for being cocky,,,,,uhhhh,, I mean confident, yeah thats it, confident : - ).
Well, I began to sweat. Suddenly, the prof speaks up about how a few in the class were so unethical in some stunt pulled in the library....yada yada......I didn't know what the hell happened. Some stealing of something or other......she gave us the option......you can take the exam or you can take the average you have now. Oh hell yes, I didnt think twice and left that room. Videos to prove the culprit(s)! I was happy with my A! Lucky? Hmmmm....never had I been so happy to be through with my journey through college. Again, she was on my mind.
A good friend of mine, practically my older brother, decides to work in a different area of the hospital in a given night. Hours later, cops are there and many lose their licenses due to sexual misconduct and gross deglect. A prayerful, unselfish man gets off the hook for not working his regular shift b/c he got a weird feeling. Luck?
My punchline---luck is the common man's term for a gift. God's ever visible gift to man that others refuse to recognize as a gift and give it some petty word that signifies happenstance. Some things we cannot explain. Certain "why's" we cannot understand, yet we either loathe it or stand in awe of it. We get happy b/c of it, get frustrated by other's receipt of it, and tag it with some dumb word as if it meant nothing, and it was merely a mathematical uncertainty b/c we cannot believe it actually happened. No, its God's visible gift to an individual, made obvious to everyone to be seen and give thanks. Yet we are selfish and dont want to realize the fruitfulness of God's bestowing a blessing upon us, especially the other guy we cant stand.
Winning a lottery, showing up late to work at the World Trade center on 9/11, having your future spouse cross your path, avoiding that wreck in front of you b/c you just happened to move to the other lane, these are all gifts from God. I must say, for as much as I'm always questioning the Almighty, I have experienced many times his impeccable timing. As easily as creating man and earth, parting the Red Sea, raising Lazarus from the dead, healing the blind, pardoning the adultress, walking on water, putting up with my crap day after day, and expelling demons, God can play with the clock as easily as I can edit this blog. When something falls on your lap, God gave it to you, period!
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Jeff Gordon won the Phoenix race this past weekend. Granted, he had a great car and the skill, but it was his last minute "lucky" pit stop right as the caution waved to put him in position to take the checkered flag. Lucky?
I was due to turn in a book report on a Friday in my sophomore year in high school. Straight A student, football player, respectful and courteous kid to all my teachers.....I was a good kid. Turns out this time around I was ill preped. Not half way through my assigned book and my report was due tomorrow! Shit!!
As it turned out, a huge snow storm hits the location in which we were to travel. Game cancelled! Now I can skim the rest of that overdue fucker so I can get my report written up. Lucky to have such an odd thing happen in West Texas during the fall?
Last exam day in College Station, a not-so-easy FINC semester final was about to be given, and I had that bitch by the tail. I was confident, or was I cocky, anyhow, I didnt study for the exam. I sat in class knowing how I was gonna ace the exam b/c I had aced the previous two exams in there. Suddenly as cocksure as I was, I began to hear questions and problems others were going over. You know about the talk that goes on before a test, dont be coy! One, then two, then wait.....I'm a bit rusty. I had busted my ass for this class, and I knew that I was going to go out with a B at most, if not a C. No fucking way! All this way and that shitty grade for being cocky,,,,,uhhhh,, I mean confident, yeah thats it, confident : - ).
Well, I began to sweat. Suddenly, the prof speaks up about how a few in the class were so unethical in some stunt pulled in the library....yada yada......I didn't know what the hell happened. Some stealing of something or other......she gave us the option......you can take the exam or you can take the average you have now. Oh hell yes, I didnt think twice and left that room. Videos to prove the culprit(s)! I was happy with my A! Lucky? Hmmmm....never had I been so happy to be through with my journey through college. Again, she was on my mind.
A good friend of mine, practically my older brother, decides to work in a different area of the hospital in a given night. Hours later, cops are there and many lose their licenses due to sexual misconduct and gross deglect. A prayerful, unselfish man gets off the hook for not working his regular shift b/c he got a weird feeling. Luck?
My punchline---luck is the common man's term for a gift. God's ever visible gift to man that others refuse to recognize as a gift and give it some petty word that signifies happenstance. Some things we cannot explain. Certain "why's" we cannot understand, yet we either loathe it or stand in awe of it. We get happy b/c of it, get frustrated by other's receipt of it, and tag it with some dumb word as if it meant nothing, and it was merely a mathematical uncertainty b/c we cannot believe it actually happened. No, its God's visible gift to an individual, made obvious to everyone to be seen and give thanks. Yet we are selfish and dont want to realize the fruitfulness of God's bestowing a blessing upon us, especially the other guy we cant stand.
Winning a lottery, showing up late to work at the World Trade center on 9/11, having your future spouse cross your path, avoiding that wreck in front of you b/c you just happened to move to the other lane, these are all gifts from God. I must say, for as much as I'm always questioning the Almighty, I have experienced many times his impeccable timing. As easily as creating man and earth, parting the Red Sea, raising Lazarus from the dead, healing the blind, pardoning the adultress, walking on water, putting up with my crap day after day, and expelling demons, God can play with the clock as easily as I can edit this blog. When something falls on your lap, God gave it to you, period!
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Thursday, April 19, 2007
She's Married Part II
Good-looking, confident, glowing, smarts ( I presume). I was in love! Dont get me wrong; you could lined up many other girls that were better looking than her. She was by no means a model. She seemed to be heavily disposed or was gonna grow into it (maybe, hopefully not), trust me I know what genetics have in store. Her ass could have been more, uhmmmmm ......... Anyhow, I was in love so who cares.
But this girl had me!! My heart ached for her. I had never felt this way about a girl. I had always thought of not marrying, but within weeks I couldn't help but bring God into the picture.
I'm Catholic, brought up in the faith and then strengthened by its history and teaching in my college years. I had a bitch of a roommate at my first year at Aggieland; he really made me study the faith. Not as something to enjoy, but something to defend for he was a stout Lutheran. I learned harshly that going to Mass wasn't good enough! You have to be faithful and prayerful in your faith to defend it. Turn the other cheek? Hah,,,,,,,,,well, I'm not that great a Catholic.
Anyhow, I had Adoration on Wednesday mornings, early Wednesday morning. Hell it was practically Tuesday night! When everyone else was a couple of hours into their sleep, I would be at chapel talking to the Son of God. I remember those humid nights during the summer when I would walk into St. Jo's chapel. It was an old church, the kind that rings true Christianity as opposed to the new age ones, no offense St. Mary's. I remember those cold wintery nights when I just wanted to stay in my little place and enjoy the season. Cold weather makes a man tough; I couldn't stand those fucking 100 degree days.
I'd go in, sign the little book, and sit there. Never has anyone or anything brought me so prayerfully close to God. I was frustrated, confused, lonely, jaded.......u name it. This girl was all I could think about! I had never asked God for much, for growing up I thought that my desires were miniscule compared the suffering in the world. Who was I to ask God for shit when others truely needed something worthwhile. That thought changed in a hurry. "God I want this girl. Not for lust, but as my wife. You know I dont lust for her. Children cross my mind when I see this girl." Yes I was a "good guy", but never had I prayed to God in this way, with such confidence, such faith.
I couldn't wait to see her just 12 hrs later. Sitting there behind her just looking at her. I had a good view ; - ) She had such a glow; she didnt seem like a complainer. She always seemed to be around someone whether in class or at the club just around the corner, literally. I never knew if the guy she was sitting next to was her boyfriend or just a friend. I could never approach a girl who was with her friends; I was much more reserved back then. I was gun shy. I couldn't pull the trigger. I so wish I had! I hate myself for letting this pass!
I'd rush into that small, musty chapel in the afternoon after class. "Blessed Mother help me. I dont know whats wrong. I dont know why I have this girl so heavily in my heart. Please, if I ask you anything, grant me her!"
And again..........on another occasion, kneeling before God's presence.........
"Lord, I dont know this girl, and she doesnt know me. I'm so in love with her, and it isn't looks either. Why is this ache in my heart? I can't bare it! You know I've hated the thought of marriage nor do I particularly care for it. Why do I feel that I need to be with this girl? I didn't ask for this ache!"
Yes, its true! She didn't know me although our eyes met a few times. In fact I got to speak only a few words to her before our exam. I loved her brown eyes. I liked the way she looked at me. She didnt seem to smile much, as far as I got to see. I dont know why I was infatuated with this girl. Like I said, I've seen beautiful girls and admired them, but this one just made my lungs work a bit harder just to sustain life. No, she isn't model material to anyone, but L meant the world to me.
But this girl had me!! My heart ached for her. I had never felt this way about a girl. I had always thought of not marrying, but within weeks I couldn't help but bring God into the picture.
I'm Catholic, brought up in the faith and then strengthened by its history and teaching in my college years. I had a bitch of a roommate at my first year at Aggieland; he really made me study the faith. Not as something to enjoy, but something to defend for he was a stout Lutheran. I learned harshly that going to Mass wasn't good enough! You have to be faithful and prayerful in your faith to defend it. Turn the other cheek? Hah,,,,,,,,,well, I'm not that great a Catholic.
Anyhow, I had Adoration on Wednesday mornings, early Wednesday morning. Hell it was practically Tuesday night! When everyone else was a couple of hours into their sleep, I would be at chapel talking to the Son of God. I remember those humid nights during the summer when I would walk into St. Jo's chapel. It was an old church, the kind that rings true Christianity as opposed to the new age ones, no offense St. Mary's. I remember those cold wintery nights when I just wanted to stay in my little place and enjoy the season. Cold weather makes a man tough; I couldn't stand those fucking 100 degree days.
I'd go in, sign the little book, and sit there. Never has anyone or anything brought me so prayerfully close to God. I was frustrated, confused, lonely, jaded.......u name it. This girl was all I could think about! I had never asked God for much, for growing up I thought that my desires were miniscule compared the suffering in the world. Who was I to ask God for shit when others truely needed something worthwhile. That thought changed in a hurry. "God I want this girl. Not for lust, but as my wife. You know I dont lust for her. Children cross my mind when I see this girl." Yes I was a "good guy", but never had I prayed to God in this way, with such confidence, such faith.
I couldn't wait to see her just 12 hrs later. Sitting there behind her just looking at her. I had a good view ; - ) She had such a glow; she didnt seem like a complainer. She always seemed to be around someone whether in class or at the club just around the corner, literally. I never knew if the guy she was sitting next to was her boyfriend or just a friend. I could never approach a girl who was with her friends; I was much more reserved back then. I was gun shy. I couldn't pull the trigger. I so wish I had! I hate myself for letting this pass!
I'd rush into that small, musty chapel in the afternoon after class. "Blessed Mother help me. I dont know whats wrong. I dont know why I have this girl so heavily in my heart. Please, if I ask you anything, grant me her!"
And again..........on another occasion, kneeling before God's presence.........
"Lord, I dont know this girl, and she doesnt know me. I'm so in love with her, and it isn't looks either. Why is this ache in my heart? I can't bare it! You know I've hated the thought of marriage nor do I particularly care for it. Why do I feel that I need to be with this girl? I didn't ask for this ache!"
Yes, its true! She didn't know me although our eyes met a few times. In fact I got to speak only a few words to her before our exam. I loved her brown eyes. I liked the way she looked at me. She didnt seem to smile much, as far as I got to see. I dont know why I was infatuated with this girl. Like I said, I've seen beautiful girls and admired them, but this one just made my lungs work a bit harder just to sustain life. No, she isn't model material to anyone, but L meant the world to me.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Mojito
I've had my fair share of drinks!
Gin is by far my favorite. Seagrams, Tanqueray, and Bombay are good with tonic.
Vodka is okay, but I only like it for knocking my ass out because I'm sick. Smirnoff is okay; Absolut is the shit!!
Tequila,,,dont know a whole lot about it. Frankly, I could give a shit!
Rum is good! Captain Morgan with coke...yum. The ever knew and recently tried drink at Cheddars,,,,,,,,,,,the Mojito. Today, I had three of them in 45 minutes,,,enjoy!!!!
Gin is by far my favorite. Seagrams, Tanqueray, and Bombay are good with tonic.
Vodka is okay, but I only like it for knocking my ass out because I'm sick. Smirnoff is okay; Absolut is the shit!!
Tequila,,,dont know a whole lot about it. Frankly, I could give a shit!
Rum is good! Captain Morgan with coke...yum. The ever knew and recently tried drink at Cheddars,,,,,,,,,,,the Mojito. Today, I had three of them in 45 minutes,,,enjoy!!!!
Monday, April 9, 2007
The Confession
Five minutes into my Lenten confession......
Father: What a horrible way to be! You're not being a very good Christian.
Me: Oh come on Father, I dont think I'm that bad.
Father: You're not being a very good Christian. You're acting more like a Pagan. Being cynical and sarcastic are horrible ways to conduct your life. You need to start trying harder.
Me: (Shocked and instantaneously not thinking of what I was saying) A Pagan? That's bullsh....(I have never talked this way to a priest nor was I gonna start today)
Father: (He quickly interjected) What? What was that? What did you say?
Me: (Humble, afterall, I haven't been scolded by a man of the clothe since I was an altar boy,,,anyway, in a more melancholy tone I said...) Come on Father, I think you're taking me much too literally and reading too much into this. I dont think I'm all that bad. I just get a bit realistic and sarcastic at times, thats all. How does that make me a bad person?
Father: You seem very indifferent. You dont sound the least bit sorry your sins. Now are you sorry or not?
Me: Yes Father, I am.
He doubled my penance, go figure! Not a mortal sin was mentioned, and I get nailed for my paternal personality. Granted, Neither of my parents are assholes...................but I am ; - )
Father: What a horrible way to be! You're not being a very good Christian.
Me: Oh come on Father, I dont think I'm that bad.
Father: You're not being a very good Christian. You're acting more like a Pagan. Being cynical and sarcastic are horrible ways to conduct your life. You need to start trying harder.
Me: (Shocked and instantaneously not thinking of what I was saying) A Pagan? That's bullsh....(I have never talked this way to a priest nor was I gonna start today)
Father: (He quickly interjected) What? What was that? What did you say?
Me: (Humble, afterall, I haven't been scolded by a man of the clothe since I was an altar boy,,,anyway, in a more melancholy tone I said...) Come on Father, I think you're taking me much too literally and reading too much into this. I dont think I'm all that bad. I just get a bit realistic and sarcastic at times, thats all. How does that make me a bad person?
Father: You seem very indifferent. You dont sound the least bit sorry your sins. Now are you sorry or not?
Me: Yes Father, I am.
He doubled my penance, go figure! Not a mortal sin was mentioned, and I get nailed for my paternal personality. Granted, Neither of my parents are assholes...................but I am ; - )
Sunday, April 8, 2007
She's Married Part I
L was gorgeous, at least to me she was. I remember sitting there in my Econ class waiting for it to start. 1st day of classes for the semester, and I was ready to get started. All I could think about was what the curriculum would be like, tests, homework.....u know the story.
There she was coming into class. Walking with this confidence, a gentleness in one fell swoop. Paradoxical? Sure as hell! "Graceful" was the word that murmured from my lips. Mater Dei flashed in my mind, and no I'm not trying to be blasphemous. She was good-looking, brunette, confidant, radiant, graceful........perfect!!! Later, I would find out that she was an athlete nonetheless. I was in awe!!!
I had never thought about marriage before. Since I was little I had witnessed divorce, known close ones to me of committing adultery, and the ever unfair community property laws in Texas. Marriage? Who the hell wants to get involved with that shit with all the downside potential? With this in mind, I was dead set on being single for the rest of my life. Little did I know that this girl would change my thinking.....well at least for a few years ; - )
There she was coming into class. Walking with this confidence, a gentleness in one fell swoop. Paradoxical? Sure as hell! "Graceful" was the word that murmured from my lips. Mater Dei flashed in my mind, and no I'm not trying to be blasphemous. She was good-looking, brunette, confidant, radiant, graceful........perfect!!! Later, I would find out that she was an athlete nonetheless. I was in awe!!!
I had never thought about marriage before. Since I was little I had witnessed divorce, known close ones to me of committing adultery, and the ever unfair community property laws in Texas. Marriage? Who the hell wants to get involved with that shit with all the downside potential? With this in mind, I was dead set on being single for the rest of my life. Little did I know that this girl would change my thinking.....well at least for a few years ; - )
Sunday, April 1, 2007
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