The Confession

Five minutes into my Lenten confession......

Father: What a horrible way to be! You're not being a very good Christian.

Me: Oh come on Father, I dont think I'm that bad.

Father: You're not being a very good Christian. You're acting more like a Pagan. Being cynical and sarcastic are horrible ways to conduct your life. You need to start trying harder.

Me: (Shocked and instantaneously not thinking of what I was saying) A Pagan? That's bullsh....(I have never talked this way to a priest nor was I gonna start today)

Father: (He quickly interjected) What? What was that? What did you say?

Me: (Humble, afterall, I haven't been scolded by a man of the clothe since I was an altar boy,,,anyway, in a more melancholy tone I said...) Come on Father, I think you're taking me much too literally and reading too much into this. I dont think I'm all that bad. I just get a bit realistic and sarcastic at times, thats all. How does that make me a bad person?

Father: You seem very indifferent. You dont sound the least bit sorry your sins. Now are you sorry or not?

Me: Yes Father, I am.

He doubled my penance, go figure! Not a mortal sin was mentioned, and I get nailed for my paternal personality. Granted, Neither of my parents are assholes...................but I am ; - )