Bitter Sweet

My mentors descended upon my office this past week. It was good to see them again. I was pleased to see them, for they are easy to get along with. I enjoy people who are easy to get along with!

Both were to do reviews of our work. More and more, I've come to be ..........not indifferent, but confident in my approach to "tests."

The test.................. it could come in the form of an interview, an exam at school, a naked woman in front of you, a hardship in your face tempting you to turn away from........ they come in all sorts of shapes and stuff.

I was being reviewed and I was hoping for a quick and dirty contact. Well as my luck would have it, it was anything but.........

He came in.............speaking Spanish. I was like "oh great". This would surely sink me. I come from Spanish descent, but I never really came to know the language all that well. I understand it better when they speak it to me as opposed to my speaking it. I can write it pretty well.......but my speaking sucks!

Moreover, he had a notice. This just drove the hammer in my heart deeper! My Spanish isn't good enough to get into this kind of depth! Those ever radiant, harsh but inspirational words came to my mind...........the stuff that makes me get things done when I'm not feeling up to par......"just suck it up." Those words...........they take me back to my high school years when I played football. Those years were painful (physically) at times.

I wont go into detail. Ironically, this case was detailed. This gentleman had a lot going against him, and it was my job to pull his ass out of the gutter. As I proceeded, I was gaining momentum even while at times stumbling, but I hung in there strong. An hour and a half later, I had complete a very thorough contact and managed to pull off my proceedures just fine, at least I thought.

Today, I got my review on paper. It was the most stellar one yet! Words such as "good", "pleasing", "thorough", "complete", yada yada yada. It was great. For a second, I wanted to treat myself to a lot of booze! Two minutes later, I came back to reality. It was fun.

Then I got to thinking about that saying, "For those who desire sweetness must not flee from what is bitter." Had I found a way of getting out of that contact that I already knew would be difficult and potentially embarassing to me(the bitterness), then I would in no way had such a stellar review. The fact that it was something much more complicated and in depth than that of any of my coworkers had experienced that day, and the fact that the review would be in my profile for as long as I work there was sheer sweetness.

Today proved a great example, as I see over and over again, that everything has its price. Everything has its cross!

For most of my life, I've avoided the cross. I'm Catholic but feel inept at times to be part of the Mother Church.

I'm tired...........

I better catch a nap before my hour tonight!